Found Photo: Emily and Sami

If you lost a photo at the Clairemont Town Square in San Diego this week I found it over by the place that sells the juice slushies. The back reads:

Emily 5 1/2 m
Sami 4 1/2
Christmas 07'

Don't fret that you were careless and forever lost a memento of a very special memory! Just print this photo out and it is like you never lost it. No need for thanks, I'm a gentleman in that way.

Investigate Accidents

Fantastic Universe (March 1960).

Queen of the Super Females

Mapy Cortes as Reina Eva XLV, queen of a hidden island science utopia populated entirely by women.


From the 1946 Spanish film El Sexo Fuerte aka Super Females.

How embarassing

Return of the Whispering Gorilla

In the original pulp story The Whispering Gorilla a crime-victim had his brain transplanted into the body of a gorilla. After fighting crime while becoming something of a celebrity the hero suffered a brutal beating at the hands of the local police, causing brain damage which reverted his human brain to that of a wild animal. When last seen, the Whispering Gorilla was being returned to Africa and set free to live among other apes in the hope that he would at last find peace. What no one anticipated is that the injuries suffered by "W. G." were temporary and he soon regained his human intelligence.

In the February 1943 issue of Fantastic Adventures the tale Return of the Whispering Gorilla was published. In this issue "W.G." is found alive and well (as well as a human brain can be after being placed into the body of a giant primate) in Africa. "W.G." is still fighting crime though this time it isn't petty mobsters he is attacking. This time he is fighting the incursions of the organized criminal cabal of the Nazi invasion into Africa.

In the 1940 issue of Fantastic Adventures the story was credited to Don Wilcox. In the sequel three years later it is David V. Reed penning the story with "permission by Don Wilcox". While many pulp stories are hit-and-miss when it comes to quality the move from the Whispering Gorilla as a Shadow-like mystery man to an heroic defender of the realm is welcome. Any sequel that features a gorilla pummeling Nazis is automatically superior to the original entry.


BONUS! "Introducing the Author" page profiling David Reed and featuring Fantastic Adventures editor Julius Schwartz many years before his tenure at DC Comics.

A dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do

"Go. I've got this."

Superman #680. Best comic of the year.

Metal men vs. The Walking Dead

All I can say is, this idea came from one of the most terrifying, exciting and awesome dreams I've had in years. I don't know what anyone else dreams about, but one sequence that stuck with me after waking was of Platinum drawing herself out into a fine wire and looping herself around a horde of zombies, then tightening up and cleanly slicing them all into neatly stacked patties of zombie meat.

Sacrilege Lands - Never Surrender

Grocery Store Artifact: FAIL

The spell check function is useless if you don't understand when a word is spelled differently it has a different meaning.

Unless we were in coal country. I'd sell smokes, booze, fireworks, spray paint and sharp objects to anyone brave enough to go a mile underground and work under those conditions.

Rod Baby

My Life #6 (January 1949).

Twinkle and the Lonesome House of Shadows

AND THEN ROM SHOWS UP...

From Calling all Kids #26 (August 1949) and ROM, Spaceknight #5 (April 1980).

Some context for the noobs.

LN-18 and her Wonderbird

Young Maureen O'Sullivan as LN-18, a typical teenager of the year 1980, and her sweet ride from the 1930 film Just Imagine.

Sacrilege Lands - Glamour

Some more "proof of concept" imagery for Sacrilege Lands.

You would think after 21 years of marriage my wife would stop insisting I created this image only to justify to her all those pictures of David Boreanaz I was downloading.

Friday Night Fights: Lock and load hands, and come out fightin'!

GUN HANDS.
SOMEDAY.

From New America #4 (March 1988).

Friday Night Fights: Ladies Night, Round 7!

Eva Bartok

Eva Bartok. Hungarian. Concentration Camp survivor. Space Girl.

From the film Spaceways (1953).

Sacrilege Lands - Military Working Arachnid

Weird and Headless

Amazing Stories - The Headless Horror (May 1944).

Conan vs. Terminator

I was looking through my collection of Savage Sword of Conan magazines and one cover by Earl Norem (see it here) in particular gave me an idea. The ethereal specter of death hovering over the plain in the background of the battle scene could easily be the skull of a T-100. The bodies of the slain heaped up beneath Conan's heels could be not only Hyperborean warriors but the chassis of wrecked Terminator soldiers as well.


A Conan vs. Terminator film would be rad. I'd pay to see the film twice or more. I'd eat the marketing tie-in Happy Meals. I'd buy all the novelization and comic book adaptations plus the ensuing series and one-shots. I'd fall for every Special Edition and Director's Cut re-issue of the DVD. I'd purchase two each of all the toys (one to play with, one to keep in original packaging). No matter how stupid or useless any product some soulless clown in a licensing office thought up in connection with the Conan vs. Terminator franchise I would buy it, and be glad to do it.

Original art elements by Earl Norem and Paul Gulacy.

Always leave a good looking corpse

I understand the aspect of advertising that depicts animals overjoyed and eager to end up on your dinner plate. It does not help sales to show cute forest creatures fleeing in terror of being eaten or begging to be spared the axe and agonizing death. I, on the other hand, prefer knowing the truth when it comes to the origins of my food, but that's just me. I don't care to have my brisket sugar-coated, thank you.

But I don't care about how attractive an animal or vegetable is before it gets cooked as long as it appears appetizing when it is time to stab it with a fork and saw it up with my knife. It is a fact that endangered, ugly animals are the tastiest (as all those visitors to Mauritius island can attest). However, good personal grooming habits are always important and I have to give points to the doomed lion who took the secret of being neat and clean with him to the grave.

From Superman #86 (January 1954).

Futura of Saturn

Buck Rogers #100 (January 1951).

The Accredited Swimming Suit

From College Humor magazine (July 1931).

Hobo in La Jolla: Stanley and his Monster

There are some actions that if not outright illegal, then should have a moral imperative brought about by common sense against carrying out.

There are laws to protect the incompetent. Those rules are in place to protect people not only from themselves but from those who would wittingly or other wise do them harm or take advantage of them in some way. I'd like to think this applies to the homeless populations but if it does no one enforces it or thinks it applies.

One could not in good conscience give a junkie a bag of heroin, a 90 year old blind man with Alzheimer's the keys to a motor vehicle, a teen-aged goth girl a razor, a monkey a gun, a fox the key to the hen house, or a fanboy any comic from 1990s Marvel. Common sense and legislation prevent such doings because horrible and tragic events will inevitably result.

Yet no one seems to think twice about buying an alcoholic a 6-pack pack of beer.

Stanley is homeless and is a relative newcomer to the area. But in typical vagrant fashion he quickly managed to get himself banned from all the local shops because of his behavior and tendency to steal. Some days ago Stanley had a medical emergency after bolting nearly a gallon of beer in less than a half hour after procuring it from someone. He passed out in the landscaping of a nearby store. When Stanley woke up he managed to take one faltering step and firmly planted his forehead directly into the sidewalk with no attempt to catch his fall. He was probably unconscious after the second bounce of his head against the concrete. While I called emergency services a Lifeguard ran up and helped Stanley and shortly after the Police and the Fire Department arrived. They took a struggling and altered Stanley away for some quality medical treatment at taxpayer expense.

Stanley returned the following day, this time sporting a number of weeping, bloody stitches in his forehead. For the next several days I found Stanley passed out on the sidewalk in the middle of the day, a number of empty beer cans beside him. On the third day I woke Stanley up, took the remaining unopened cans of beer away and handed him a sandwich. I spoke with him for a bit though I doubt anything I said would motivate him to get some help. The talk probably did me more good than it did him. I admit I felt better after displaying some compassion. After a few minutes Stanley got up and staggered away down the street. It has been a few days now since I've seen him. Hopefully he is in a shelter or back in the hospital going through some program.

I have little sympathy or patience for the homeless. Yet my impatience with people who, as far as I am concerned created their own situation, is being outweighed by my anger and disgust at those others who enable they who no longer have control over themselves or good judgment. If someone wants to feel like decent human being I urge them to do it in another way other than giving money to those who would use it as a resource to harm themselves further. It's convenient, I know. Handing over a dollar or some pocket change to a homeless person is like paying a toll for being in public and it makes you feel better. But in reality you are not helping. Don't give the homeless money and for pity's sake don't buy any alcohol.

Every day I have a customer tell me they are buying beer for some vagrant waiting outside "because they really need it." This is wrong-headed and just plain wrong. I understand that someone thinks they are helping by supplying someone with what they are addicted to, but don't do it. You may as well be putting a gun up against their heads and pulling the trigger. Buying an alcoholic a bottle of booze to feed their addiction is cruel and should be illegal. It is against law, common sense and morality to give someone who is suicidal a box of rat poison. Why is it acceptable to give an alcoholic a case of beer? Is it because one form of self-termination is quicker than the other?

Want to spare a dollar for the homeless? Buy a 99 cent bag of pretzels. Buy a few bagels. A stick of beef jerky. Anything they can eat. Give them food. Nothing else. If they don't want to eat it, then fine. You did a good deed and didn't make their situation worse. But just stop with giving them cash and stop with buying them booze.

Protest Art

An example of one of the few things hippies are good for, though a tad coffee house beat-poet and derivative for my tastes.

Chicago Seed (March 1968).

Acro-Pets

New Funnies #254 (April 1958).

Surplus Astronaut Space Helmet

You have to have a space helmet to complete the suit.

Screen Thrills Illustrated #2 (September 1962).

Cheesecake/Beefcake

Feature Book #49 - Perry Mason: The Case of the Lucky Legs (1946).

How'd that work out for you, Ginny?

I'd wager the day Ginny hit 18 years old and she realized that Mommy and Daddy were no longer giving her a free ride with food and shelter she sold out to the man at the first hunger pang.

Chicago Seed (January 1969).

It's a miracle!

Love Diary #43 (April-May 1966).

Surplus Astronaut Space Suit

Screen Thrills Illustrated #1 (June 1962).

Thrilling!

This is where it came from. This is where it's going.

Squarehead

I think I've seen nearly everyone of these gags on a popular cartoon series over the last couple of years. To be fair, how many jokes can possibly be derived from having a square-shaped body?

From Cosmo the Merry Martian #1-6 (Archie Comics, 1958 series).

Happy Birthday to Me

Family and friends. Cool tunes and some cartoons. Birthdays don't get better than that.

Dolly Mixture

Diana #214 (March 1967).

Nipping at the heels of giants

Being #1 on the 6th would be a nice birthday gift. So everybody stop posting.

Stats as of September 4, 2008.